One from the Archive.

Hey I was looking through my old computer and found this that I wrote in February 2007, thought I'd share it. It's pretty deep but then it was a pretty emotional and depressive time for me. (The bucket list is on it's way still in progress).

People can leave your life in seconds but the memories stay a little longer. Now sometimes that’s good and others that’s bad. Unfortunately for me I want to forget but can’t, I want to move on but am held back and I want to love again but my heart says “No!”. 

In trying to forget I’ve began to drown myself in the memories and now a minute without a thought of her is all too rare. I find the words I said to her on repeat in my head and the moments we met are on continuous playback. Over and over making sure I live in regret of ever meeting the one I love. Had I known that living without her would be this hard I would never have wanted to meet her. Don’t get me wrong when we were together things were great but the point is we’re not together anymore and there’s the pain; separation. Together in my mind and dreams but not where I need her, in this little town called reality. 

The trouble with reality is that to get out you have to hurt others. Believe me if it wasn’t for friends and family I’d be long gone and free of this torment. I only live for everyone else and no longer for myself. Without her I’m not complete and I’m not me and when I lost her I also lost myself. I exist purely as a being to prevent hurting those close to me.