Uninspired and thus untitled

I'm aware I haven't posted much recently and the stuff I have posted has either been the words of someone else or fairly boring and uninspired. So apologies and now excuses...

I've been writing a lot of poems recently and posting it on a poetry site haven't really had time to write anything on here. There's been so much going round in my head and so many emotions it's been hard to get them onto the page.

Even now I'm sat wanting to write something thought provoking; something that might inspire or move and I just can't. There's too many sad thoughts in my head right now and nothing sounds right. I promise to post something soon though,

Gareth x

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...





...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

- George Carlin

I just love this...

I just love this quote.

Go get her...

The World and A Boy.

The world kicked him down and the boy stood up,
To be kicked down again but he didn't give up.
The world said cry,
And the boy did cry.

He was tripped and he stumbled,
The world pushed him to crumble.
The world turned out the lights
But the boy still fights.

His legs feel heavy and his arms feel weak,
He keeps walking towards a future that looks cold and bleak.
He walks 'cause he's blind,
He knows it's only in his mind.

The world SAID we're here for you,
But what did they DO?
They pushed him to crumble,
And boy did he tumble.

Gareth x

Oh how it can hurt to think.

Trapped by my depression; imprisoned! I thought I'd broke free, I thought there were blue skies over head and I thought those words "Life gets better." actually held some truth. But it appears I'd only broken from my cell, the four walls of the prison still had me trapped. Those blue skies were just an elaborate and beautiful painting on the ceiling of something dark and unwelcoming. Those words remain a lie, for me at least.

Have you joined the flea circus?

The flea is an amazing thing. It's tiny; barely visible to the naked eye and yet it can jump 20 - 30 ft straight up in the air off the floor. So if you want a flea circus how do you stop them getting away? It's simple you get your fleas together and put them in a jar. Then you put a piece of cardboard on top of that jar. The flea will jump with 20-30 ft worth of force and SMACK! straight into the card and he repeats this again and again. You leave him in the jar for a week or so and he makes an association; he links jumping high with pain. So when you let your flea out of the jar he'll only ever jump as high as the card was.

Do you remember when you were young? You wanted to be an astronaut then a policeman then a doctor then a vet. You wanted to be and do everything and it all seemed possible. You dreamt and those dreams were never too big. But somewhere along the line somebody put a piece of cardboard over your head. Somebody told you it could never happen, you weren't clever enough, you weren't strong enough. 

Why can't we dream like that again? We know it's possible because we've done it before. The flea can still jump that incredible height but he chooses not to because somebody once stopped him. Jump that incredible height! Dream that impossible dream! Then live it.

Adventures of a lonely heart.

Ever felt like shouting "I LOVE YOU" at the top of your voice because to just say the words wouldn't quite sum up the emotion? Ever felt like no matter how much you say the words, no matter what you do or how often you do it, that person will never understand how you feel? Ever tried to reach out and grab someone by the heart and been like the kid who swings himself on the swing... for all his effort the results are far from spectacular but he convinces himself it's down to technique and with a bit of practice he'll have it nailed. Well then join the club (we have cookies!).

I've felt like that about a girl before. The worst part of it was that I focussed my sights solely on this one girl because of course she's the one. "I may be young but course I know what love is, there ain't no feeling stronger than this one here." And in doing that I missed opportunity after opportunity to meet other girls. Looking back they came and pretty much said "Hey what about me?" but soon moved on when I failed to acknowledge their open offers. And now I pay the price. 

Now that I've seen the error of my ways I find myself on my own with a lonely heart struggling to find love. And now I'm the one saying "Hey what about me?" and they're the ones not listening because they're all happy in the 'perfect' relationship. I can blame my mistakes on ignorance or on naivety but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because I won't have that time or opportunity again. Looking forward it feels like the adventures of a lonely heart might turn out to be an epic. 

For now farewell

Gareth x